song and dance

"Why should we do this? What's the point of being in a long distance relationship anyway? We might as well cut our losses now; part on good terms and seek comfort in people who can actually be there. Seriously, why do we put ourselves through this?"
"Because it's worth it. It's worth it to me. Isn't it worth it to you? Well, only you can answer that. But think carefully before you do. Because whatever you decide, I'll accept it. And that will be that."
". . . Is it really worth it? Do I really mean that much to you?"
"Of course. Why else would I still be with you?"

A question I've asked so many times, an answer I've been given many times. Yet I keep on asking. Why do I doubt him so? Why am I so afraid? Or am I just being weak? Do I refuse to believe, or do I just not want to believe?

Or maybe I just want to hear the answer I already know he will give me. Maybe I just want to be reassured, to be told that yes, I am valued, and yes, I am loved. Because when he tells me that I am worth all the pain and suffering and loneliness and sadness, then I know. I know that he's worth it too.




So although sometimes I do feel like I just want to escape and take the easy way out... I fight it, and don't give in.

I'm sorry, baby. Forgive me for constantly going through this same song and dance. Please continue helping me to be strong. I need you. I do.